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[wildkingdom]

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[recoined]

( MALIA PLS, THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BACKSTREET BOY AND A MEMBER OF 98 DEGREES. )

how could you!!!
a true backstreeter would never

( okay, she's kidding. mostly. she's not really sure if "backstreeter" is the real word. )

you weren't into boy bands in the nineties were you?

[wildkingdom]

[Aheh. About that. She wasn't exactly human in those crucial boyband years. She's mostly been playing a lot of catch up and BSB and other boybands haven't been as in the forefront.]

Not really. Sorry.

[... It's probably better to just lie.]

[recoined]

lucky for you, that's easily remedied
i happen to know a guy who's basically human itunes

( give her a day to load up her pink ipod shuffle with some classic nineties tunes, and they'll have a pre-game dance party to the dulcet tones of i want you back. preferably in their pajamas, while catching malia up on all the other classic nineties stuff she's clearly missed out on. )

have you at least seen clueless?

[wildkingdom]

That's a movie?

[Sorry, Kimberly, she's a failure of a teenage girl.]

[recoined]

what level of cultural cluelessness are we talking about here?
overprotective parents but eventually allowed to watch mtv after a few years?
or like... bible belt, 'the earth is flat and i have thirty siblings' crazy?

( she's seen the tragic tlc shows. this could be traumatic. )

[wildkingdom]

[There's a really long pause where she just DOESN'T ANSWER THIS and it's not because she's ignoring you, Kim, it's just because she doesn't really know what to tell you that is neither a lie nor the truth.]

I didn't have a TV for like eight years. My ex tried to catch me up, but he probably missed stuff?

[And a follow up, in defense of her cluelessness:]

I've seen The Notebook!

[Thank you Lydia Martin.]

[recoined]

( okay. she can work with sheltered-yet-interested. at least there's no quiverfull brainwashing to overcome here. she can totally cher horowitz her way through this mission. there's no rsvp on the statue of liberty, right? just shuffle some stuff around, cut a crop top or two, and call it a day. )

the notebook is a good start
definitely workable

we may just have to extend this lesson a little...

[wildkingdom]

By how much?

[Malia may have better things to do.]

[recoined]

it was a joke

( malia, pls. don't be so mean. )

like, we're going to have to hang out more than once
since there are obviously a bunch of movie nights in our future
get it?

[wildkingdom]

[Oh.]

Okay! That sounds cool. With pizza?

[recoined]

what kind of movie night doesn't have pizza?

[wildkingdom]

I don't know, sometimes Lydia makes me try weird stuff.

[It's not ... that weird, it's just not the junk food that Stiles would feed her.]

[recoined]

movie night will definitely have pizza
no weird stuff

( unless malia somehow thinks popcorn and chocolate are weird. if that's the case, kimberly's not sure she'll know what to think. )

[wildkingdom]

Awesome. Just let me know when.

[Nope, those are definitely not weird things.]