wildkingdom | cuddle city } { ic inbox

[his arms end up tightening around her the moment she returns the hug, all tension disappearing with the knowledge that he really hadn't ruined everything before it'd even started. he can't help but smile, even as his face ends up buried against the side of her neck, relishing the familiarity of her scent.]

You know, you're allowed to be mad at me. [...starting over may have to wait a moment. watch this space.]

I'd prefer if you weren't, but that doesn't mean you can't be annoyed. None of that was your fault.

[even the parts about being glad he was bitten. sure, he may not have understood why at the time. but after all they've been through now, he gets it. he knows how much good he can do now. (not that he has any plans on thanking peter, of course. the guy is still a killer who took that choice away from him.)]

I'm not mad.

[Well, a little at herself because she didn't want to tell him any of that in the first place, regardless of the fact that she was drenched in truth rain at the time.]

You're allowed to have been mad too. I did keep something pretty big from you.

[So while she appreciates the apology, she's sorry too.]

Derek said it was probably better to just leave it alone, so I didn't say anything, but I probably should have been upfront about it before.

Yeah, but I was an idiot back then.

[sure, he may not be the smartest guy out there now either, but back then, he knows he wouldn't have cared how malia reacted. he didn't. instead, he'd thrown all the blame back at her, despite knowing full well that it wasn't something she really had any kind of control over.]

If you'd told me straight away, there's a good chance I wouldn't have come back at all. [a shake of his head though because--] It doesn't matter now. We can't change what's already happened.

[and neither would he really want to. not when it ultimately brought them to this point. one last squeeze of his arms, and scott finally steps away. but the contact isn't gone entirely just yet. not with his hand still resting on her shoulder.]

So. That whole starting over thing... [that he broke literally the moment after mentioning it.] No more blaming ourselves. No more waiting for each other to get angry. We're pack, and that's that.

[She nods once in response because this feels normal. This feels like they're back to where they were before she left Beacon Hills, and while she does still feel bad about how they left things, if Scott is okay, then she's okay.

She's pretty good at compartmentalizing and moving on.]

Good. We'll just do that.

[A beat.]

Is Derek pack too?

[It's not something she'd be opposed to, as she and Derek have been spending more time together recently, but she just wants to be clear.]

[it's a difficult question to answer. while he and derek know where they stand with each other, putting it in to words has always been difficult. they're pack, definitely. but it's closer to being brothers than being an alpha and a beta. having peter try to force control over him all those years back was bad enough. the idea of even considering doing that to others isn't something he'd ever entertain.]

As much as he wants to be.

[which is the only real way to put it. as long as derek wants to be a part of their pack, he has a place. if he wants to leave, scott wouldn't force him to stay. but the same is true of all of them. if malia herself chose to leave the next day, he wouldn't stop her. he'd be upset, sure. but her place would still stay open to her if she ever chose to return.]

That's not a problem, is it?

[She shakes her head because no, not at all. She and Derek have actually been getting along pretty well lately, it's just that ...]

He's never actually been really consistent about that.

Our pack, it's-- [a shrug. there's no simple way to put it really]

It's not exactly like most others out there. I'm not going to force anyone to stay if they don't want to be there. But that doesn't mean they'll ever really lose their place in it, no matter how far they go.

[whether that's across state lines for a few months, or across oceans for years. until they decide they want to cut all ties completely, scott's never going to be the type to kick someone out. his pack is his family, after all.]

Derek knows that. [or at least he thinks he does.] I kind of hope you all get that.

I was going to go to France.

[So yes, she does know that, she wasn't just abandoning her pack for hot French men.]

But I wasn't sure if it was just a me thing, or if it was an everyone thing.

[A beat:]

Is Theo in the pack?

[She's really hoping the answer to that is still no.]

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